My first date with my current boyfriend, Jon, should be a list of all the things not to do on a first date. It's not as though I was a novice to dating either, I'd been on a great deal of first dates, thanks to the wonders of internet dating, so I truly had no excuse. I've also gone on my fair share of bad dates but I was never the offending party. There were a few circumstances, I like to believe, that lead to this date and the way in which I acted.
1) We had been talking for two weeks prior to meeting, via phone and skype, so we were already past the awkward conversations and had already seen that both of us were honest about our pictures (that's important).
2) It happened to be the night before the anniversary of my previously mentioned dead ex-boyfriend's death. A day where I'd typically stay inside and do a lot of moping, not an ideal day for a first date.
And 3) did I mention 1 and 2?
We agreed to meet at a bar local to my house. I had driven my car halfway to the bar, although it was only about a 20 minute walk from my house, in the event that he wanted to walk me home. My logic was that he wouldn't have to walk to my door and see where I live, he'd just walk me to my car (see I was playing it safe). Now I know this sounds cheesy and I feel stupid even writing it but it's the truth. The second I saw him not only was I attracted to him, but I felt really comfortable around him. He emitted such a confidence that it was hard not to feel it too.
Grabbing a seat at the bar we immediately dived into conversation and into our drinks. For the record my rule of thumb is just three drinks on a date. Considering most of my first dates last about 2-3 hours this rule works well for me. There were no awkward pauses, no uncomfortable moments, we truly got along amazingly and it felt like I'd known him forever. Can we add that to the list of reasons this date took a turn for the worst?
He's not completely innocent in this whole ordeal either, let me tell you. Being that we're both Irish, and rather competitive I think we were both going head to head on the drinks. He'd look at me ask if I wanted another and I'd say if he was having one I would too and so that's how my three drink maximum turned into 5 or 6, I might have lost count. It didn't help that the bartender was also giving us free drinks throughout the night.
We had our first kiss at the bar (though I honestly don't remember it and was only recently told that was where our first kiss was) before deciding it was time to call it a night. I explained that I had my car parked a couple blocks away and grabbed my car keys out of my purse. Thankfully, he stole them from my hand and told me that he was not going to allow me to drive home and that we'd walk the whole way. As we're walking home we past my car and I run to it and explain that I'm totally sober (a sober person wouldn't need to do this) and that I should be allowed to drive. He just laughed and pulled me along to keep walking. Needless to say I was a bit of a mess.
As we neared my house we took a seat on someone's curb and started talking, that was when (I really have no idea how this came up) I started crying and talking about my ex. I addressed how terrible I feel and how I feel at fault and somehow responsible and all these horrendous things. He took it completely in stride. I remember him wiping my tears from my face and holding me and just consoling me in any way that he could. He also opened up about his life and told me deep personal things in order to, I'm sure, make me not feel like a complete ass.
He then walked me to my door and after I opened my door we got to kissing. I have about twenty steps leading up to my apartment from the front door and I was told that I fell on the steps and was laying on them. All I remember is us kissing while laying on the steps (I thought it was much more sexy before knowing that the reason we were doing that was because I fell). I also had this whole plan not to have sex with anyone until I was in a committed relationship with them, but I was apparently willing to throw that out the window since I must have asked him to come up a dozen times. I also must of said "I'm not normally like this" another dozen times, which is always a good sign. He finally told me that he had to go after making out on said stairs for a bit and I agreed. All I wanted to do was pass out.
Jon lives about a twenty minute walk from my house and so he walked home although he apparently took a ride home with some stranger (so clearly I wasn't the only drunken stupid one). All in all, you can see the various mistakes I've made throughout the night and the fact that he didn't run away screaming then, proves to me that I have an amazing guy who could easily be around for the long haul.
I love you Jon.